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This year, I’ve decided not to design anything for Christmas. Rather, I’ve composed a little song, which articulates what I feel perfectly. Don’t think I’ll have the time to upload the tune (gotta record from the piano and all) for now (if at all), but here’s the lyrics to it:

Sometimes I feel like sighing.
Sometimes I feel alone.
Sometimes I feel that the whole wide world,
Has hearts that ‘re made of stone.

I wish I had 3 wishes,
I’d make them count; I would.
I’d wish for peace and love and joy
- That people would be good.

There is a time to be nice,
There is a time to share!
Let Christmas be that time,
To show the world we care.

So now here’s what we must do,
Listen carefully,
Just close your eyes and clasp your hands,
And whisper prayerfully:

“Oh Lord please help me now,
And give me strength to say,
To those who’ve done me wrong this year:
‘I forgive you!’, Lord I pray.”

No better time to be nice,
This is the time to share!
Just open up my heart!
Lord Jesus, ’tis my prayer!
For Christmas is the time,
To show the world I care!

Our lives are each, a journey of discovery and one of adventure. With every journey, there are choices to make, different paths to take. We can journey alone, or we can do it with a companion. We can choose to run, but pretty soon we’ll tire out. If we become weary, stop, rest; never give up. If we stumble and fall, we can complain, we can sob, or we can pick ourselves up and let the pain be a reminder for us to be more careful in the future. If we take the road commonly traveled, we can be certain of the route, but then we’ll never know for sure what fun and excitement the road less traveled had in store for us. We must learn to enjoy each day of our journey; just as we can choose to spend a rainy day in gloom, we can, just as easily, use it as an opportunity to have fun and cavort in it. If we come across someone who is struggling, stop; help. You’ve just made a friend. Finally, know your destination, even though we may not know the exact route to our desired destination; this is not important. Never let go of your dreams, for from dreams come goals. From goals comes aspiration. And, from aspiration, comes success. Get to know yourself, and you will find your dreams.

Being a rebel, I never fell for a cliché like that. Till now, I feel restricted whenever I am expected to do something, and to show my defiance, I’d go against any expectation, even if it were at the expense of my convenience. My life truly began when I was 12; thereafter, it started to slip away from me and I would be disappointed – let down – by the people I cared about, over and over again. I, myself, would become a disappointment to those who truly cherished me. Through the years, amazing things would happen and I hope to share some of these experiences with you. I may not know you; nevertheless, I remain hopeful that my story will not only inspire you, but will infuse a desire; a desire for success and achievement. There is no secret to success – despite what many books will tell you. Success comes to the few who dare to dream, and the fewer still who resolve to aspire.

Be mindful of your feelings
I was always an introvert. It wasn’t because I wanted to be one, but because the environment which I grew up in mostly ignored me. I wasn’t a spoilt child, though I suspect my parents may tell you otherwise. Honestly, I was brought up in the school of hard knocks. Nobody owed me a living, or at least nobody tried to, anyway. From a young age, I was taught never to show my temper. Pretty soon, however, that extended to not even showing happiness or delight in something. My parents always kept me in my place. There was much scolding and seldom any praise; I guess that’s just how my parents were. I could be talking about something I was excited about and they’d not even turn to look my way. It was more than disheartening. For a growing child, it was truly devastating. I was told that whatever I wanted, I was given. How about what I needed? Nevertheless, because of how I was brought up, I learned to reflect on my own; to learn and familiarize myself with, hmmm, myself. I learned how to control my feelings, and how to psyche myself to do anything I wanted. In the working world, this would prove to be important, especially when dealing with difficult bosses, clients and colleagues. It also gave me an appearance of calmness and composure even though the workload could get a tad tedious. Simply put, show it when you’re happy, and hide it when you’re not.

Be strengthened by insults
I remember when I was 13; I went out with a group of classmates to a barbeque party at a – supposedly – good friend’s home. That was to be the worst, yet the most fulfilling evening ever. Suffice to say, my friends had completely abandoned me to hang out with a group of girls. It was not that I was being anti-social or anything. I did try to join them, but it became apparent that my “friends” were gossiping about me behind my back, as they’d all disperse whenever I moved closer. At the point of time, I was sad. I ran off to a deserted corner of the estate and sat with tearful eyes, wondering why this had to happen to me. Years on, I look back and thank God that things turned out the way they did. This incident worked in my favour, for I made a conscious attempt to improve myself to a point where I was sure they did not deserve what I had to offer as a friend. Till this day, there are things that people say – intentionally or unintentionally – that insult your character or your work. Be angry; forgive but don’t forget. Turn that anger into a positive effectual force. Let it serve as a motivating factor rather than a bitter hate. This is one of the most difficult things to accomplish, but I promise you that if you can conquer this, you will be successful.

Decide what you want to do early on and never give up hope
Since forever, I’ve wanted to pursue a course of study in computing. My dream school – MIT. Why? Simply because people say it’s not possible. In fact, most people wrote me off as a failure after my ‘O’ Level examinations, all because I did badly. At that point, I was only left with one choice – polytechnic education. I was disheartened, truly. It felt like my whole world had crumbled, and my future looked grim. My parents did not trouble themselves to be tactful with their words, and till now, the things they said to me back then were the most painful. Some of which will never be forgotten nor forgiven. My friends didn’t say it, but I could tell from their eyes that they didn’t think much of me either. I don’t blame them. How could I expect them to believe in me when I didn’t even believe in myself? I was contemplating giving up. Fortunately, I didn’t. I have many people to thank for helping me along the way, from tutoring me to giving me the support and encouragement. These are people who I cherish and respect. These are people who I’d do anything for. But back to the point, I knew going to the polytechnic would undoubtedly make it that much more difficult for me to go into a good university. It was very difficult. After graduating, I had applied to the local universities but was rejected flat out. I almost gave up hope, but to start with, honestly, I wasn’t hoping for much. I realized it was my responsibility to improve myself in a way that would ensure a good future, not just for me, but for whoever I would ultimately end up marrying. It was this simple realization that made me stay awake for countless nights, in the darkness and silence of my army bunk (I had enlisted for full-time national service by then), thinking of what I really wanted in and out of life. I came out of it feeling somewhat empowered. I felt that I could achieve anything if I made a conscientious effort to accomplish it. So, I tried again, and I succeeded into gaining entry into a good local university.

to be continued…