All you can do is breathe
when the sun’s rays streak down the horizon,
we enjoy its warmth,
and all we can do is breathe.
when the clouds roll in and the wind starts howling,
we bow and shiver,
and all we can do is breathe.
when the raindrops fall and the world gets drenched,
we run for cover,
and all we can do is breathe.
I’m still alive.
My absence from this blog was mainly due to school commitments. My grandmother moved out from the house last week. Because of this, I’ve been able to spend my days sitting in the living room, utilising the space as my own study area. I did visit my grandma yesterday, and it appears all is well and good.
My schedule is packed for the next 3 weeks. The more I think about it, the more depressed I get. Exams are around the corner, and I have to work hard if I want to get at least 2 A’s this semester, though it’s doubtful since there’ll always be some wise-ass foreign student who can suck up to the prof well enough to get him/her that A. Nevertheless, I’m hopeful.
I decided to do special term. Both special terms, so that I can take less modules during the actual term. Ah, and I also applied for the exchange programme commencing next January. I applied to McGill (Montreal), Michigan (Ann Arbor), and Ludwig-Maximillian (Munich). Whichever I get into, it’d be fine with me.. oh, except if I get into Adelaide..I applied for fun only. I have absolutely no intention of attending such a university (read between the lines please).
I need to get a thumbdrive. How can a geek like myself have survived so long without one? Hmm, maybe I’ll go down to vivo now to get it. Then again, it looks like it’s going to storm real bad.. I’ll think twice.
I commend the librarians at NUS. I was looking for Singapore Standards Codes of Practice today, and I couldn’t find e-versions of them. Closest I got was the British Standards Online. So I emailed the librarian, asking where I could find the Singapore Standards. Well, at 8+PM, I get a call on my mobile. It was the library. Then at 10+PM, a reply from the librarian, with everything I’m looking for. Hardworking bunch I must say.
I gotta spend a long day in school tomorrow. Software engineering project seems like a lost cause.
Hope it rains again.
Found even more stuff while clearing out my portable hard disk. Truly brings back many many many memories..both good and bad..but more good. What can be more fulfilling than hanging out in the bush with your best buddy beside you looking out for you, while you’re doing the same for him. Well .. not many things can beat that feeling. Without further a-do, I present to you, purely out of luck (that I found these photos), and sheer nostalgia, my time in the army, somewhere in Brisbane, Australia.
My limousine…
My home. I have photos of how it looks like inside, but it’s quite yucky, so I’m not gonna post it.
My buddy, Defeng, and I taking a break from the sun.
Trying to act busy because the photographer (Defeng) was trying the camera and I didn’t wanna get in trouble with the RSM should he see the photo.
Intruder alert! So much for fences.
Spent the better part of a cloudy Monday doing the software engineering project. Managed to finish the class diagrams and update the use cases. After that I realised it was getting late, and that I was getting tired, so I did a bit of casual reading and turned on the TV and watched Monster House and Da Vinci Code, which were on HBO. So now it’s late, and I’ll have to wait till I’m refreshed in the morning before I can continue studying. Life is so monotonous.
Among other things, I found this photo which Elisabeth took when we were at Zouk a few weeks back. Why does Jaemes look so serious, we’ll probably never know.
We won 3-1 yesterday! It’s our 3rd league win in a row, and excluding last week’s sham, it’d be our 12th or 13th undefeated streak. It’s just great to play, winning is definitely a bonus.
I just got this in the mail:
Throughout the last few years, especially in the army, there were a bunch of songs that always kept me going whenever things seemed to weigh me down. Here’s some of them (particularly nice is Moon River):
http://profile.imeem.com/R_ytTu0/playlist/l0fiqgb6/piano_songs_music_playlist/
I got up real early today..at about 9AM I was all set up at Starbucks (Holland Village), ready to make up for all the slacking. And by 4PM, I had. Took a cab home after bumming around at the news stand. Amazingly, I did continue to study at 9PM, and I just decided that I should call it a day. I’ll do the same tomorrow, though I have to go to school in the evening for a presentation. 2 more days to my first paper. I’m on schedule..for now.
I’m behind on every single subject. I have to buck up … I’ll buck up tomorrow. =P
The last few days were spent entertaining two girls from the US, on holiday during their college spring break. Candice and I brought them out a bit, and I have to say that it was the most fun I’ve had in quite some time. We did have our reservations at first, worrying about where to bring them and whether they’d enjoy this or that, but then we met them, got to know them, hung out, and realised that they’re a whole lot of fun. Hopefully, we’ll be able to go visit in December to continue the fun. =) One of the girls asked me last night at St James’ Power Station, “You and Candice don’t go out often?” It was an innocent question but made me go back and reflect on my priorities. I always have reasons for not going out .. mostly it’s because the little time I have left I’d like to spend resting in anticipation of more work to come. I guess, however, that if I keep up like this, life will become a bore, and I’d regret that I spent the best years of my youth (am I even still considered one?) wasting away, working myself into the ground. More than that, I’d be wasting Candice’s best years too. So, if you’re reading this, yes, I’d go out with you to anywhere you’d like to go! =))
Well, soccer tomorrow against the Belgians. Should be an comfortable win. I hope I still have the energy to study after that - tests in 4 days.
How does dying feel like? It’s almost 4AM and for some reason, the topic just popped into my head, and now I cannot sleep..probably out of fear that if I did, it might be the last time I was awake. I wonder what death would be like, perhaps (and hopefully) in about 60+ years time. Would you instinctively know that the breath you breathed would be your last? How would the people around you feel? Would you even know that you’re dead? Would you be conscious of what’s going on? Does it feel the same as falling into a deep sleep? Sigh, so many questions.
Then, after pondering upon it more seriously, I realise it is not dying that is important. The important thing, rather, is living each day to its fullest. Then again, why should I bother gaining a degree only to lose 1/20th of my life? Again, so many questions … nobody to answer them. I’d imagine that if I were to be diagnosed with a terminal illness, it’d definitely set things in proper perspectives. Why strive for achievement and success when in the end, everything you know, love, own, have, would be lost at the end of your life?
I wish I had some answers, because I’m awake with despair and worry.
01001001 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 01101110 00100111 01110100 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01110011 01100011 01101000 01101111 01101111 01101100 00100000 01110100 01101111 01100100 01100001 01111001 00101110 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01100010 01101111 01110010 01100101 01100100 00101110
Well, this is more like a summary of recent events and a reflection.
Today I was supposed to have Discrete Maths lecture at 4PM. Seven minutes before my bus was going to come, the heavens opened up with the heaviest rain I’ve seen in the past few weeks. Me being the clever me, I took the smallest possible umbrella I could find, and ran out of my house to catch the bus. If you know me well enough, you’d know I NEVER rush myself..so I took a stroll to the bus stop. Within moments, I was half wet (circumference of umbrella too small), and my bag which had my laptop was also half wet. So I was immediately presented with a decision to make .. the most important decision of my day. I decided that the computer was more important, so I provided cover to my bag (it’s one of those Crumpler bags) while getting soaked. I made it to the lecture theatre 3 minutes after 4. Stepped in. Everyone turns around to stare at about the same time I thought, “Holy shit! There’s no space and I’ll have to squeeze in-between people!” So I did the classic move .. took out a random piece of paper (hoping people would think it’s a timetable), staring at it for a few moments, then turning around and walking out nonchalantly. Smooth. I waited for awhile while I dried up a bit, then took a bus down to Holland Village to study. It was productive, as it always is. Managed to get through most of my Foreign Policy readings, so now I can focus on discrete maths.
Why is I do the things I do? I don’t know. Candice said if I ever appear on MTV’s Boiling Points, I’d win the 100 bucks. I’m no altruist .. so I don’t know why I’d bother with people who obviously don’t give a @%$&^@%& about me. Then again, I’m the way I am. Food for thought.
I’ve been eating less and less recently. Am I reaching that age where soon I’d be feeding on cold plain porridge and complaining that everything’s too salty or too sweet?
Wordpress beckons me to upgrade.
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